We are in the midst of a lot of goodbyes in our lives right now.
I have told many of my clients that I am leaving, with mixed emotions (from them and me).
I often wonder what they’ll tell their next therapist when he or she asks “what kinds of things did you do with Jenn?”
I suspect lots of them will say “we played games!” What they don’t know is that they learn best through games. That what they really learned in that game of chess or Yahtzee is how to finish what you start, how to be a graceful winner, how to try again when you lose, how to take turns, how to anticipate what others are going to do, how to predict consequences of your actions, how to take chances.
Some might say, “we drew pictures and colored!” What they don’t know is that through art, kids express their feelings and emotions. A dark day may be expressed through black scribbles or rain clouds. Secrets and life stories can be told through art when the right part of your brain takes over and leaves logic behind.
Other kids might say “we pretended we were other people!” because what they don’t know is that through role playing kids can learn how to react in social situations, how to initiate conversation, how to increase their self esteem, how to have hard conversations, how to fit in just the right amount while still being who they are.
My adult clients will probably say “we just talked,” even though what they don’t know is that they entered a healthy therapeutic relationships with boundaries and expectations that they may not know or experience in many of their other relationships. They were held accountable, they were challenged, and most of all – they were supported and validated. If I’ve been doing my job right they felt valued and important, because they are.
There are so many things in “therapy” that we teach, not through a long lecture where kids or adults are forced to listen to concepts they don’t care about or don’t understand – but through how we interact with them. The tools we create to support them.
So, their next therapist might think “wow, all she did was color, play games and talk?” But if they’re any good at all, they will hear what my clients are not saying – they will pay attention to they things my clients learned without even knowing it.
I am confident you are leaving behind a wonderful legacy! I hope your clients mesh well with their new therapists so to continue progressing on their journeys.
Ilene recently posted..Confessions of a Slow Poke Runner
You know, I think we all feel this way. Each time I left an office, I’d wonder if the new boss would think “what the hell has she been doing with this staff?!?!?” or “She organized like this?!?!?!” So, I can only imagine how much more you must feel this way when it involves the emotional progress of your clients. I wish you a smooth transition and easy, but thoughtful goodbyes!
Jen Has A Pen recently posted..Elephant
I can’t imagine how tough those goodbyes are for you and them. But Ilene is right, you are leaving a legacy and regardless of what their new therapist thinks, or what they are aware of, they are better for having known you. And that won’t change.
Tricia recently posted..Oh what a world that would be
It is so hard to say good bye. I’m sure it’s even more difficult to say good bye knowing that you won’t be able to check in on these people you have formed a relationship with. Good luck to you on your new adventure!
Erin recently posted..Our Story Part 5 . . . The Conclusion
“…if they’re any good at all, they will hear what my clients are not saying”
I think you hit the nail on the head there. I’m sure their next therapist will have big shoes to fill…
Best of luck on your next endeavour!
kyfirewife recently posted..Why I Talk About PPD
saying goodbye is so very very difficult. For me the hardest part. of leaving job was always they people-both my co-workers and the families I worked with. Any therapist that knows what they are doing will know it’s much easier to get ppl to talk and open up when they are DOING something.
Robbie recently posted..Saturday Seven: Guilty Pleasures
Therapy is so fascinating. To me, it seems like a ridiculous thing to pretend to understand if your main knowledge of the subject comes from movies (as I’d venture, the average person’s does).
New York Cliche recently posted..Other NYCs: The Bonafide Brooklynite