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I know.

I’m late. Christmas wrap up posts are SO LAST WEEK.

Forgive me?

12 strands of non-matching Christmas lights

11 tries at the Awkward Family Photo

10 dozen cookies

9 piles of new stocking stuffer loot

8 types of chicken Chinese Food (image source: china11a.wordpress.com)

7 furry animals (3 cats, 4 dogs)

6 types of cereal

5 (hundred) tears shed during this movie (image source: http://warhorselondon.nationaltheatre.org.uk/)

4 tanks of gas (image source: sf.funcheap.com)

3 Rock Band-mates a playin’

                                                            2 friends from high school

and a weirdo next to a Christmas TREEEEEEE…..

A Day in Our Life: 2012 Style

Linked up with The Blogivers for a seasonal  journey through Christmas pasts…(all mixed up, because I have neither the time nor the patience to put these in order when Blogger is being a pain! ;))

me, 2009

Dad, 2009

Skeeter, 2006

Me, circa 2004

Mom, 2006

Casey, 2010

Me, 2008

Patrick (my brother), 1983

My Grandmother’s Christmas Tree

Me, 1983

Me, 1994



Patrick, 1980



Mom, 1990

Barney, 2009

Casey & Me, 2010

Dad & Patrick, 2001

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!!

I’m posting from my new laptop. WHICH my parents weren’t supposed to give me, but they did. And I cried. Thank you Mom and Dad, I really appreciate it!

Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope that all of your wishes came true. Thanks for being amazing people, and reading our words. We really appreciate all of you!!

1. I often pick out songs for the soundtrack of my life as if I am starring in a movie. For instance, walking out of the gym tonight, it was dark, raining and I was in a sad place. “Nobody’s Crying” by Patty Griffin would totally be what I’d play in that moment.

2. I have Stage 2 Kidney Failure.

3. When I am walking in the snow or mud, I often think that if I went missing the police would be able to tell my weight from the imprint of my shoes. It’s part of why I still go to the gym a lot 😉

4. There was a river that I walked by near an apartment I had in Westbrook, Maine. I had a strange fear about dead people being in it, and that they might float to the top.

5. I may watch too many crime and forensic shows.

6. I used to weigh 257+ pounds.

7. I met my husband online.

8. I have seriously poor physical self image.

9. I am scared of ladders (not heights, just ladders…)

10. I am totally a goodie-two-shoes. Never been drunk. Never done drugs.

11. I went to the World Social Forum in 2006 in Venezuela. I talked about healthcare in the United States. It was amazing.

12. Hallmark commercials make me cry. The movie Nights in Rodanthe did not (and my husband and best friend call me the “Ice Queen” because of it).

13. I have several “online” friends that I have known from a social message board since I was 14. I keep in touch with them, and am going to visit two in February. We have grown up, gotten married, and lots of babies have been had between us all. I think it’s awesome.

14. I’m going to pursue my Ph.D. when we move to North Carolina. You can practice by calling me “Doctor Jenn.”

15. Ever since I got my master’s degree, I have had a really hard time picturing my future. I used to have it all planned out. Now the path is unclear, and uncertain. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. Sometimes I have an irrational fear that this is the reason we can’t get pregnant – because in my mind, I can’t picture it. I can’t imagine it. (Yeah, I got me some issues).

16. Speaking of fears, when I was young I used to be afraid that if I didn’t tell my Mom that I loved her before she left the house, that something terrible would happen to her. Sometimes this fear still visits me, and I never hang up the phone, or leave someone I love without telling them so. Ever (even if I’m mad, I just whisper it under my breath).

17. If I get in the mood for one particular song, I will listen to it on repeat. For a long time.

18. I don’t like red M&M;’s. Yes I can pick them out of a blindfolded taste test (at least, I COULD…back in high school).

19. I have a terrible memory. It’s a good thing I keep journals. I’ve forgotten a lot of the things I did in high school. Good thing I also have my mother. She remembers.

20. I helped cook the meal we had at our wedding (pancake breakfast!)

21. I never pictured myself working with kids. Now, I can’t picture not working with kids. And there are certain kids that I feel in my gut, I was meant to meet and work with.

22. I am a book worm. I ALWAYS have a book or my Nook with me. I sneak reading in every chance I get. Somtimes it’s fiction, sometimes it’s sociological stuff. But it’s always something.

23. I make up songs. All day long. I sing them to myself, to my dogs, to my patient husband.

24. I used to be a very ON TIME person. Then I started working in social work, where you can’t predict always what is going to happen. So I’m late frequently, or have to cancel due to emergencies. I am okay with it now, but it was a huge adjustment for me. And truthfully, it still bugs me.

25. My first “real” job was at Shaw’s when I was 16 (but I was a babysitter during summers since I was 13). I have NEVER not had a job since that time. And for the past 11 years, I’ve had at least two jobs. I have worked as a cashier, assistant/billing/mailing/proofreading person, at FYE (cashier), as a telemarketer (please don’t be rude to them!), at a homeless shelter, a residential home, a case manager for adults with major mental illness, and now a therapist for adults & children.

Thanks for reading 🙂

I don’t mean to get all “Where Are You Christmas?” on you all, but that’s where I am right now.

Melodramatic and all.

I can’t seem to get in the spirit, and I can’t seem to get out of my own way.

I can’t seem to be happy for others, because I am too busy feeling sorry for myself.

So I’m taking a little break from the blogging world, because I need an attitude adjustment, and writing it out just isn’t helping this time.

Thanks for understanding.

P.S. Don’t worry, like the Terminator says… I’ll be back (and probably soon).
P.P.S. Thanks to Jennifer at Another Jennifer for a fabulous blog award! Will be back soon to pay it forward (I really super duper appreciate it!)

I always woke up sometime between 3:30 and 4:30 am.  Luckily, Santa had already stuffed my stocking that was hanging at the foot of my bed with plenty of toys to keep me entertained before the pre-determined awakening time of 6:00.  I usually got a lot of candy (chocolate, of course), some kind of funky magic trick or skill-related toys, and the small box of legos that would usually come with a couple of little lego men.  Santa had an affinity for pirate legos, because he knew that I understood the awesomeness of pirates.

After slowly pulling each item out of my stocking, I would have fun playing with everything until FINALLY it was 6:00 and the rest of the sleepyheads in my family would be ready to wake up.  Well, not so much “ready” as “agreed to not get too mad when I came into their rooms and bugged them.”

I’d always hang out at the foot of my parents’ bed while they opened their stockings.  Meanwhile, my sister would slowly be waking up and would be lagging far enough behind my parents that I could usually catch the second half of her opening her stocking after my parents were done.  Hers usually wasn’t as interesting, as Santa would typically bring us a lot of the same things.

Then, it was time to venture out into the living room, where our 12-foot Christmas tree was standing atop what was sure to be a mountain of presents.  See, from the time I went to bed up until this moment, I never looked directly out at the presents under the tree.  Even if I had to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would purposely avoid looking out.  I always loved to savor Christmas, as it only comes once a year.  My sister would peek during the night.

Usually my Mom and I would make it to the living room first.  My Mom would snap on the lights, and there would be the remains of what could only be described as Santa’s bag exploding all around the tree.  We always had a TON of presents.  I have a few photos that could illustrate this, but unfortunately, they’re on a CD packed away.

Each year, there would always be one big, special present that would shine above the rest.  When I was 4, it was my Bert and Ernie garage playset that I asked Santa for when I sat on his lap at the Windham Mall.  When I was 7, it was the hanging model of the solar system my parents painstakingly made themselves out of appropriately proportionately-sized styrofoam balls, painted according to the many books on space that I owned.  It hung over my bed until after I moved out.  When I was 8, it was my He-man “Eternia” playset I was just dying to own, at 19 a Playstation, 23 a laptop, and so forth.

But we didn’t open presents yet.  First we my Mom would brew some coffee and make us some hot chocolate.  I have a Santa mug that I used every year.  I still have it, and plan on using it again this year after a two-year hiatus.  And of course, we always had mini marshmellows in it.

After that we’d turn on some Christmas music, and my parents would sit on the couch, my sister in the easy chair, and I’d make my self comfortable on the floor, on the left side of the tree beside the easy chair.  I’d be responsible for handing out the gifts; I’d find one for each of us, then we’d go around taking turns watching each other open them.  There would always be a garbage bag beside my sister and my Dad for throwing out all of the wrapping paper as we opened them.

Eventually, I’d make my way around the tree, leaving a trail of piled up toys behind me as I went.  I always tried to organize them as I opened them, to make clean up easier.  I was semi-sucessful at best.  I also had a habit of stopping to open and play with whatever I had just opened.  This always slowed down my present delivery efforts and I would get verbally prodded along. 

Besides my one big “toy” present, my Dad would always buy something special for each of us, usually something we’d use during the winter.  One year, it was my snow shoes.  Another year it was my ice-fishing traps. And so on.  Unfortunately, these gifts would typically come with curses; for example, the year of the snow shoes was the year we didn’t get enough snow to use them.  We’d joke about this, but for some reason or another it was typically the NEXT winter before we got to use our new gift.

Unwrapping gifts usually took around two hours.  In that time, the sun would always sneak up, and upon finishing we’d realize just how long we had been at it.  We’d pick up our gifts enough to make room to get to the table for breakfast.  My Dad always fried bacon and eggs.  I hate eggs, but I loved the bacon.  We typically just nuked it, so having it actually fried in a frying pan was a big deal to me (I’m kind of a baconaholic).  I eventually coined the term “Christmas Bacon” to describe it.

My Mom or my sister would always make some kind of coffee cake, or some other sweet, sticky breakfast treat, and we’d have milk and orange juice and eat breakfast as a family.  That was a rare thing.  We had many family dinners, and some quick weekend family lunches, but we were all typically on our own breakfast schedules.

And then, I’d usually disappear into my room for the better part of the day to play with all the toys Santa brought me.

These days, my Christmases are very different.  I have Christmas in Vermont with Jenn’s parents and I love it!  I admit that my outlook on the Christmas season has changed a great deal in just a few short years.  I’m much more interested in buying gifts for strangers that need them, than I am getting tons of stuff for people I know who don’t really need it.  This year, as Jenn mentioned here, we’re not getting any presents for each other, and even when we do it’s minimal, compared to the two-hour present fest I’d take part in with my family.  But even though times change, and I’ve changed, I still cherish the memories of past Christmases with my family, and still view all of my 33 past Christmases, whether they be in Windham, ME or Barre, VT, as some of the happiest days of my life.