Is it just me, or do people get a little too riled up about things they read on the internet? I know that  bloggers (and especially the well known bloggers) put themselves out there sometimes, and they need to expect criticism.

But, seriously. I feel like people get overly involved in situations that really don’t affect their daily life at all. AT ALL!  That’s right. I used my caps lock.

And if I could “Reply All” to some of these people, I would. To say – don’t take yourself so seriously. And for goodness sake, don’t take the internet so seriously. Try taking the time you use to criticize everyone else, and go cultivate a relationship that you have right in front of you. In your own house. In! Real! Life!

This is not to say that I downgrade the internet as a place to interact and meet new people. I, (hands down) feel like I have the best crew of regular readers/commenters here, and I have enjoyed getting to know new people and create new friendships all while spilling my proverbial guts and trying new writing techniques.  I also have Real! Life! friends that I met on the Internet!

But I wholly believe that getting involved in a pissing match with people that I don’t even know, about something that has nothing to do with me, isn’t really worth my time.

And my time? It’s precious.

After all, I have a house to sell, a husband to enjoy, dogs to walk, kids to help, and a yoga class full of fabulous 70 year-olds to attend.

So be well, friends.

Take a deep breath and go enjoy your day! Internet free, perhaps?

Linked up with Shell to Pour My Heart Out

I picture it as a hooded figure.

Black and shadowy.

Lurking in the background.

Waiting for a moment of vulnerability. For a moment of weakness.

It does not come all at once.

It seeps in through a small leak in a concrete foundation.

Its grip is cold, and grows like a vine.

Once it grabs hold, it begins wrapping itself slowly around my stomach, my heart, my brain.

Squeezing until I gasp for breath.

Intruding thoughts begin to form.

Did I lock the door?

Did I turn off the oven?

Did someone break into the house?

What if there’s a car accident?

Do those sirens mean someone I love is hurt?

Why can’t I do anything right?

My heart beats faster. I feel sick to my stomach.

I try to shake the thoughts. I use all the tricks in my arsenal.

Thought-stopping, reality checking, cognitive triangles, singing loudly and badly, working out, checking in with Casey, my Mom, Stacey, someone who will answer the phone and make me laugh.

The hooded figure retreats, as a sliver of sunshine comes through the window.

I want to curl up in its warmth, like my dogs do on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

For awhile, the light will win.

Sometimes for months at a time. Sometimes for only a few minutes.

I can always feel the darkness, the shadowy figure of doubt.

Uncertainty, anxiety, fear.

It is waiting for its opportunity.

These words are my life preserver.

I unravel them, throw them out, and hope that they will be something to hold on to.

To keep my head above water.

To thwart the hooded figure.

To bring light to the darkness.

The irony doesn’t escape me, with the light and the dark.

That we wouldn’t be able to distinguish the light, if not for the dark.

The fact that one cannot exist without the other.

The overwhelming awareness that the light casts shadows.

Distorted images of darkness.

*******

Linked up for Yeah Write #53 & Just Write! Come check out some amazing writers!

Oh, hey blog. Sorry I’ve been neglecting you for the last week. You see, it’s been a BIG PUSH to get the house ready this week, and as of Monday it will be officially on the MLS (#1048647 or visit the house at http://41shawsmillroad.com). We encountered all kinds of problems that meant me opening up my checkbook and handing it over to various contractors. This in turn put me in a whirlwind of stress that eventually involved copious amounts of ice cream and buffalo chicken pizza. Which isn’t a great response. I did go to the gym, as well, but it just wasn’t cutting it. So enough of my excuses, and on to the pictures! I will try to do better this week, (but I’m not going to make promises).

That’s right folks. On Tuesday, I deactivated my Facebook account. Not forever, necessarily. But for now. Facebook is an infertile person’s worst nightmare. Especially an infertile 29 year old. BABIES ARE EVERYWHERE. PREGNANT PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE. And perhaps more annoyingly, whiny pregnant people and parents are EVERYWHERE. Not that everyone doesn’t have a right to whine about life now and again, it’s just painful when it’s about something you so desperately want. Like, say if I whined about the fact that I was eating the best ice cream ever but it was giving me an ice cream headache and all you, my reader, wanted, in the whole wide world – was a huge ice cream. I don’t want to read it anymore. For now. I’ll be back. When 99% of my friends are no longer of child bearing/raising age. So, you know. In 20 years or so. Or whenever I can feel less sensitive to this subject. Whichever comes first.

Here’s a lesson for you. When your therapist says, “don’t squeeze that toy too hard, you wouldn’t want it to explode all over you,” LISTEN TO THEM.

Here’s one of the problems that came up this week: a kerosene tank on it’s last legs. Quoted $500 to pump out the kerosene and take it away. Thanks to my father-in-law however, we were able to siphon the kerosene into our heating oil tank! Hurrah! Now we don’t have to buy oil again for awhile. But we do have a tank to get rid of. And the hazardous waste people only take it if it’s cut in half. So my answer? Throwing that baby up on Craigslist. Those people take everything. Cross your fingers that someone wants an old used oil tank!

No, no. This isn’t some sort of crazed Asian monkey ninja. It’s….an Eskimo. Apparently. By Casey’s estimation anyway.

Remember the odyssey of getting my rings cleaned? Well, they are FINALLY back in my possession after several episodes of incompetency. I am SO HAPPY to have them back!

Our local creemee stand opened up! (“Soft Serve” for you non-Vermonters). Everyone, yes – the dogs too, got a creemee on Thursday night. YUMM-O!

Daffodils are coming up in my flower beds. Also? My flower beds desperately need some TLC. But “they” say yellow flowers put people in buying mode. So c’mon daffodils -work yo’ magic!

Here’s what we say to the past week. May this week bring an interested buyer, and some stress reduction. Or I might totally flip out on someone. And may that person not be you.

***

Have a great week, everyone!

Last Sunday we were in Vermont. I miss it already.

Mom and Dad’s side of the brook by our house got “tagged,” by kids practicing graffiti. Apparently this increases the cool factor of my house in Vermont. Exponentially.

We had some delicious sugar on snow. For you flatlanders, you must have maple syrup, crushed ice/snow, a raised doughnut, and pickles to cut the sweetness! Yuuuummmm…

Surprise snowstorm on our way back to Maine. Thanks, Vermont..for a last look at winter.

Wednesday I did my first yoga class, but it seemed inappropriate to take pictures. So here’s a picture of after yoga, where I got to visit with my Bing Bing!

Casey will only eat gummy vitamins. And I found the coolest gummy vitamins ever for him.

Yesterday after a long day of working on the house, Julie and Justin took us out for a wild night of bowling!

It was a lot of fun! Stacey won one game, and Jeremy won the other! Which means, I won neither. This is not surprising.

Our Draw Something feature! Now, this is a great picture. But all I could think was two-headed bird! Two-headed blue bird!!!

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Happy Sunday, everyone. Hope everyone has a great week!

Hi everyone! Welcome to Kid Quotes Friday! Sorry that I missed last week. The end of the week was kind of rough, lead to impulsive hair decisions and a whole lot of tears. So forgive me. I didn’t think y’all would mind if I skipped a week. Turns out you did! I got all kinds of e-mails, tweets, and messages about the absence of this post. Who knew? Guess you enjoy it as much as I do! So link up already! Hint, hint!

*****

Kid (while playing pretend): here’s your baby.

Me: this is a baby orangutan.

Kid: yeah, it looks like the hair you got cutted off.

Me: of course. I think I should name my baby Butterscotch.

Kid : BUT IT’S A BABY.

Me: yes it is. What do think it should be named?

Kid: Mrs. Wigglesworth. –4 y.o.

*****

(prepare to AWWWW)

Kid: I’m trying to learn how to mimic my brother’s voice.

Me: Why is that?

Kid: So when my Mom says “love you!” to him, I can say it back in his voice. He never says it back and it makes her really sad. You should always tell your Mom you love her. –10 y.o.

*****

Kid: Did you cut your hair?

Me: Yes, I did.

Kid: Where’d the extra hair go? Can I have it? I’ve always wanted curly hair. –7 y.o.

*****

Kid: Where be all your hair?

Me: I had it cut.

Kid: Well you sure look weird-o now. –6 y.o.

*****

Kid: My liver hurts.

Me: Your..liver?

Kid: Uhm, yeah. Don’t you think I probably should have stayed home? My liver has a big temperature.

Me: How can you tell?

Kid: I’m a-burnin’ up inside! –7 y.o.

*****

Kid: Dad says he’s sad because he barely took baby girl out at all this year.

Me: Baby girl? Who is that?

Kid: Oh. That’s what he calls his snowmobile.

*****

Happy Friday, everyone! Link up below!

At the beginning of the new year, I hopped on a bandwagon of my own. I was determined to make 2012 the year of ME! To start doing things that would allow me to focus on myself instead of everyone else around me all the time. I know, a journey to selfishness really? And although selfish has a negative connotation, I believe we all need to be selfish to some level so that we can take care of ourselves, which in turn makes us better for everyone else, too.

At least this is the mantra I keep giving myself.

First, I quit one of my jobs. And every day after (and it’s only been a month),  I begin to travel down the road of, “WHAT HAVE I DONE?!” “WE NEED THE MONEY!” “WE ARE BLEEDING MONEY!” To be fair to my inner voice, we have spent a lot of money on the house lately and we do owe 3k in taxes, so a freak out about money isn’t exactly unwarranted. However, I need to keep reminding myself that having two jobs meant that I didn’t have dinner with my husband more than once or twice a week, that I was on call ALLTHETIME, that the sound of my work cell phone ringing literally made my eye twitch. That I would cry every morning on my way to work, stressed underneath the trauma and needs of 40 children I was working with. 40! Children! With! Problems! That I was soveryclose to burning out in my profession. Still, letting go of work stress has been stressful. If that even makes sense.

My newest “focus on me” project is to take a yoga class. Which is funny because I own a LOT of pairs of yoga pants, and at best I’ve worn them to do yoga maybe 15-20 times. But always a video, in the comfort of my own home, where I can swear at the TV and give it funny looks when it suggests the newest way  that I should attempt to contort my body into.

Yes. I’m nervous.

So nervous I nearly went out and bought new yoga pants. So nervous I nearly talked myself out of going at all (after all, inner voice says we don’t really need to be spending money on such things).

But I am focusing. Focusing on my dedication to myself. To doing things that are new to me, stretch me past my comfort zone, force me to listen to myself (in all my crazy glory).

So, at noontime, I’ll be spreading my hot pink  yoga mat down next to a stranger. I will have weird butterflies in my stomach like it’s a first date. I will practice deep breathing and meditation, and I will wear my yoga pants proudly… to actually do yoga. Wish me luck.

Namaste.

 Linked up with Shell for…

Last Sunday we went to North Conway to have my wedding rings inspected. We ended up with a crotchety older woman, who hated us (and her job) and dropped the eff-bomb while talking to us. Quite an experience really. It had me so riled up I needed some ice cream to calm down, cookie dough – to be specific.

One of my favorite features of my ipod is the front facing camera! It leads to photo shoots that lead to these pictures. No need to comment on our awesomeness.

If you haven’t had maple creme cookies, I feel really bad for you. And you should probably buy some ASAP. And if you live in an unfortunate part of the country that doesn’t have any, I will mail you some.

Apparently 30 is the new 55, as the AARP is after me again. At least they got my name right this time. I’m considering applying, maybe I could start getting the senior discounts early?

Here’s the Draw Something feature of the week. Bon Jovi! Would you have guessed it? Jenn did, but only after many scrambles of the letters. Apparently I’m no artist, shocker.

In case you missed the previous post, I chopped all my hair off. Here it is, straightened. I’m still getting used to it, and not sure if I like it or not. However everyone else likes it, so that’s good enough for now!

We are in Vermont for the weekend, visiting! Here’s my beautiful Mom and I before heading out for a walk.

Casey, in true tourist fashion decided to try out the granite chair in downtown Barre. Comfy, no?

We had a pretty serious yahtzee competition last night. Let’s just say someone beat someone by one point. No names here.

And we’ll close up with one more gem drawing from me!

*************

Have a great week, everyone!

Note to self: Don’t impulsively schedule a haircut after having a bad moment, crying in the gym parking lot over what you can’t have.

Also? Sometimes change is good. This change, I’m still getting used to.

What do you think?