The Story of Road Warrior

Posted on September 7, 2012 by jenn

We have a special companion on our Cross Country Adventure.

Her name is Road Warrior.

She is a Build-A-Bear that is seeing the sights so that we can send pictures to my Mom’s current Chemo-Patient assignment.

What’s a Chemo Patient? Good question. A few years after my Mom was declared cancer-free she began working with the Chemo Angels which is an organization that provides a network of support to people going through Chemotherapy, from people who have gone through it themselves. She writes letters, sends cards, pictures and small gifts to support her assigned Chemo-Patient.

So we’ll be sending pictures of Road Warrior in various places around the USA, and at the end we’ll send Road Warrior herself to my Mom’s current assignment. It’s a great organization and I highly recommend checking them out if you’re looking for resources or a great organization to donate to!!

 

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Does Hershey REALLY smell like chocolate?

Posted on September 6, 2012 by jenn

We’re safe.

We’re having a great time.

And yes, Hershey, PA smells like chocolate!

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Who Says You Can’t Go Home?

Posted on September 3, 2012 by jenn

How nice it has been to spend seven whole days in my very first hometown.

Where the streets are familiar, and I know the back ways to everything.

Where I can start sentences like “hey Casey, when I was little, I used to…”

Where I can see friends who have known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper.

And where I can find old relics hidden away, like how I was a vet (that spent too much time watching “The Price is Right”) when I was 12. Clearly, I was the vet version of Doogie Howser.

Have a great day, all! I’ll catch you in Hershey, PA next.

I hear it smells like chocolate?!?!?!?!?!

 

 

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Congratulations, Mom!

Posted on August 31, 2012 by jenn

If I am a good employee, a hard worker, a loyal and dedicated part of the workforce – it is because of her.

Because for 40 years she has worked for the State of Vermont, starting out at the “bottom” as a stenographer and working her way up to the Financial Director, Business Manager (whatever you wanna call it!) for the Department of Financial Regulation. Handling millions of dollars. And doing it with style, grace, and maybe a dash of blood, sweat, and tears.

Today – we celebrate her. As she closes the chapter on this career and moves in to retirement. I am so proud to be her daughter. The daughter of a woman whose hard work paid off, who put in long hours to provide for her family, who held her own in a male dominated career path.

My Mom taught me a lot of things – and how to be a good employee and a good supervisor are among only a few of the things I have picked up from her. But they are among the most important.

Congratulations, Mom! We love you and are infinitely proud of you!

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Greetings from the Road

Posted on August 30, 2012 by jenn

Well, everyone. We’ve officially hit the road! Last Friday we packed up my trusty Forester and headed for our first stop – Delaware to visit some awesome friends. Then we spent a couple of days in Maine visiting friends, and here we are in my home state of Vermont.

We officially begin the cross country road trip on the 5th, as we take off to Hershey, PA. And although it officially begins next week, we’ve already been through 12 states!

I’m getting a lot of use from my new baby, our Nikon D5100. I love it, even though I don’t know how to use it on manual yet. We’ll get there. I do, however, have an adorable camera bag for it – and that’s the important part right?

As for where we’re headed? Take note, because if we’re near to you, we’d love to meet up for some tea, or a meal! We’d also love to hear some suggestions for sights to see in your areas. We will be headed to Hershey, PA –> Chicago –> Topeka, KS –> Mount Rushmore –> Denver, CO –> Salt Lake City, UT –> San Fransisco –> Los Angeles –> Las Vegas –> Grand Canyon –> Roswell, NM –> Austin, TX –> New Orleans, LA –> Orlando, FL —> Richmond, VA –> and back to Vermont!

Hope y’all are doing well, and I promise I’ll be back soon(er than later).

 

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Best Friends

Posted on August 21, 2012 by jenn

New adventures are exciting. Places, people, and things to explore.

But there is something to be said for this.

Friends that know you, inside and out. That know your stories, your heart, and who you are.

That you can do nothing with, have unsuccessful sight-seeing trips with, do midnight water aerobics with, and that don’t judge you when you take doggie-high-five pictures (because they’re SO cute!).

Friends that witness the singing of the youngest entrepreneur in Wilmington with you, watch sunsets and sketchy Lynyrd Skynyrd bands with you, and chow down on mugs of bacon and Rita’s with you.

Best friends. They cannot be underrated. No offense to your best friend, but I totally lucked out in the best friend department – she’s the best. And I love her, even when she’s doing 1,300,234,567 lens changes so she can capture every moment.

Because when we’re together – every moment is totally worth capturing.

Especially our very first alligator sighting – in the lake across from our apartment.

_____________

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

 

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Float On

Posted on August 13, 2012 by jenn

Who does she think she is?

Coming into my home? Telling my Grandmother that I need limits and consequences? Trying to talk to me as if she could ever understand what I’ve been through.
She’s a f$%^ing girl, she doesn’t get anything.

She has no idea what I’ve seen. No idea what it feels like when your mother gives you away because she’d rather do drugs.

No idea what it’s like to be 14 and live with your grandmother who doesn’t understand anything.

*****

I see your pain. It’s in your eyes.

It’s trying to hide behind anger, but there is so much pain I can’t see anything else.

I can’t understand your experience. It’s yours alone to feel.

But I get pain. I know loss. And 14 wasn’t so long ago. That angst. Needing to belong – somewhere – anywhere. Feeling  different. Feeling alone.

Feeling like you want to escape. Everything.

*****

“Is that your phone ringing?”

“Yes, sorry. I thought I turned it off.”

“What song is it?”

“Float On, by Modest Mouse.”

“For real? That’s my favorite song.”

I meet your eyes Common ground. Finally. I can help you, my eyes say as I play the song on my phone and we both sing along.

I need help. But I don’t think I’m worth it.

I can believe in you enough for both of us until you can see yourself through  my eyes. For now, let’s just sing.

*****

“…And we’ll all float on alright
Already we’ll all float on
Alright, don’t worry, even if things end up a bit too heavy
We’ll all float on alright…”

*****

This post was written with the prompt of “Two Perspectives” for the Group Blogging Experience. Click on the link and come join the fun!!!

 

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The Cost of Moving Forward

Posted on August 12, 2012 by jenn

Deciding what path to take when you’re in the midst of infertility is sort of like walking into a casino, and pouring $20,000 (or more) into one of four or five slot machines and hoping you picked the right one.

All of the choices are expensive.

All of the choices are a huge gamble.

All of the choices entail you and your partner being evaluated, questioned, and put under a microscope. Sometimes literally.

All of the choices can lead to heartbreak, disappointment, and loss.

All of the choices involve a leap of faith.

I am proud, terrified, ecstatic, nervous, and hopefully announcing that we are leaping.

When we get back from our cross country trip and find jobs, we will be pursuing domestic infant adoption.

Cross your fingers and hold on tight, because you know you are all coming along for the ride.

Source: google.com via Jenn on Pinterest

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Things I Don’t Understand

Posted on August 7, 2012 by jenn

 

We are newly reunited with cable. And therefore newly reunited with “reality TV.” And therefore newly educated on the existence of “Snooki” and the fact that she is having a baby. And we still aren’t. Really universe? I mean, no offense “Snooki,” but REALLY UNIVERSE!?!?!

 

Source: via James on Pinterest

 

I’ve eaten here once. I won’t eat here again for newly discovered reasons. I do not understand why we continue to spend time, money, and resources in an attempt to keep rights away from people. We have soooooo many more important things we should be pouring resources into. Religion should not play into law. The end. Move on. SO MANY OTHER THINGS! Poverty! Hunger! Education! Debt! Pick a topic and move on.

 

 

 

Oh, North Carolina. You are so much like Vermonters and Mainers that complain about snow in the winter. YOU LIVE IN NORTH CAROLINA. IT’S HOT HERE IN AUGUST. STOP WHINING. Okay, everyone gets to whine a little – but seriously? Also? Sweet tea is gross. Eww.

 

I feel like this is just me (and I should probably duck as people throw things at me), but the Olympics? Haven’t watched any of it. ANY. Not even the opening ceremony. I’m much more a winter Olympics girl.

So that’s my list, any things bugging you lately that you just don’t understand?

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This Little Light of Mine

Posted on July 31, 2012 by jenn

She is little.

Too little to know what she knows of the world.

The neglect of her parents. The failure of a system that is supposed to protect her.

Bruises that have healed from her skin, but remain in her heart.

She folds herself into a chair, pulling her knees close to her. Protection. Defense. Knobby-kneed line in the sand.

Her eyes are blank, refusing to give away any emotion.

I begin to draw on a blank piece of paper. Colorful swirls. Stick people.

She is watching me, but I do not meet her gaze.

I begin humming without even noticing.

She breaks her silence and it shatters like thin ice under a heavy footstep.

“What are you singing?”

I answer her, “a song called ‘This Little Light of Mine,’ I like to think everyone has light to share with the world.”

She is quiet for a moment, and then asks “do you think I have a light in me?”

I pause, and smile before I answer, “your light is so bright, I almost need sunglasses.”

She smiles quietly to herself and picks up a crayon.

We color and she hums along with me.

I am humbled by the moment – the moment where hope enters my office – as a small sliver of warm sunshine that chases away shadows and allows healing to begin.

***********

This post is part of a Hope relay! As we celebrate the Olympics, Melanie Crutchfield had the fabulous idea to pass the torch of “Hope” around the blogging community. The idea being that she has asked some fabulous folks to write about Hope, and then we ask some more fabulous folks to write about Hope and before you know it, Hope is spreading around the blogging community! Melanie is going to compile all of the posts she can at the end of the Olympics and host her own version of the closing ceremonies.

I invite any and all of you to write on the topic of Hope, but I am officially passing the baton of Hope to Kenya of Here’s the Thing, Jennifer of Another Jennifer, Molly Jo of Frankly My Dear… and Gina of Namaste By Day. I hope that you will all choose to write your own stories of hope, because I gather a lot of hope from you all.

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