Forgiveness

Lately I’ve been pondering the word – forgiveness.

Some may say that I am a very forgiving person, and I am. To you. But not very much to myself. I hold high standards for myself, and can be a little harsh when I feel I am falling short of these standards. In this year, as part of learning to let go – I am trying to forgive myself. More specifically, my body. For not carrying our baby. For not doing what it is “supposed” to do. For my perceived failure. Because it is not failure (and my logical mind knows this), but it is what it is. And so I am learning to forgive.

I have been reading this book, Buddha’s Brain, by Rick Hanson. It has an exercise on forgiveness in it. I’m posting it here, and challenging YOU to forgive someone that you have been angry with, even if it’s yourself.

The Ten Thousand Things (page 165)

Relax and steady the mind, focusing on the breath.

Pick a situation in which you feel someone has wronged you. Be mindful of your reactions to this person, especially the deeper ones. Scan yourself for any ill will.

Now reflect on some of the various causes—the ten thousand things—-that have led this person to act in the way that he has.

Consider biologically based factors affecting him, like pain, age, innate temperament, or intelligence..

Consider the realities of his life: race, gender, class, job, responsibilities, daily stresses.

Consider whatever you know about his childhood. Consider major events in his life as an adult.

Consider his mental processes, personality, values, fears, hot buttons, hopes, and dreams.

Consider his parents in light of whatever you know or can reasonably guess about them; consider too, the factors that may have shaped their lives.

Reflect on the historical events and other upstream forces that have formed the river of causes flowing through his life today.

Look inside yourself again. Do you feel any differently now about him? Do you feel any differently about yourself?

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And a sentence that struck me hard, in regards to other people:

Be cautious about attributing intentions to other people…most of the time you are just a bit player in other people’s drama; they are not targeting you in particular. (page 164).

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Anyway, just some very interesting reading and I highly recommend this book! Have a great Thursday everyone!