At the beginning of the new year, I hopped on a bandwagon of my own. I was determined to make 2012 the year of ME! To start doing things that would allow me to focus on myself instead of everyone else around me all the time. I know, a journey to selfishness really? And although selfish has a negative connotation, I believe we all need to be selfish to some level so that we can take care of ourselves, which in turn makes us better for everyone else, too.
At least this is the mantra I keep giving myself.
First, I quit one of my jobs. And every day after (and it’s only been a month), I begin to travel down the road of, “WHAT HAVE I DONE?!” “WE NEED THE MONEY!” “WE ARE BLEEDING MONEY!” To be fair to my inner voice, we have spent a lot of money on the house lately and we do owe 3k in taxes, so a freak out about money isn’t exactly unwarranted. However, I need to keep reminding myself that having two jobs meant that I didn’t have dinner with my husband more than once or twice a week, that I was on call ALLTHETIME, that the sound of my work cell phone ringing literally made my eye twitch. That I would cry every morning on my way to work, stressed underneath the trauma and needs of 40 children I was working with. 40! Children! With! Problems! That I was soveryclose to burning out in my profession. Still, letting go of work stress has been stressful. If that even makes sense.
My newest “focus on me” project is to take a yoga class. Which is funny because I own a LOT of pairs of yoga pants, and at best I’ve worn them to do yoga maybe 15-20 times. But always a video, in the comfort of my own home, where I can swear at the TV and give it funny looks when it suggests the newest way that I should attempt to contort my body into.
Yes. I’m nervous.
So nervous I nearly went out and bought new yoga pants. So nervous I nearly talked myself out of going at all (after all, inner voice says we don’t really need to be spending money on such things).
But I am focusing. Focusing on my dedication to myself. To doing things that are new to me, stretch me past my comfort zone, force me to listen to myself (in all my crazy glory).
So, at noontime, I’ll be spreading my hot pink yoga mat down next to a stranger. I will have weird butterflies in my stomach like it’s a first date. I will practice deep breathing and meditation, and I will wear my yoga pants proudly… to actually do yoga. Wish me luck.
Namaste.
Linked up with Shell for…
Good luck with the yoga class!! It is so hard not to wear yoga pants, when you just want to feel comfortable!
Good on you. I too think everyone needs to be selfish now and again. It’s far too easy to neglect ourselves in the ins-and-outs of the daily life.
I’ve been trying to talk myself into joining up with the local beginner’s yoga class since (before) I moved to my current city, last summer. I haven’t done it yet. I keep talking myself out of it. (I did, at least, join a local, monthly, writers group so I have some interaction with other people.)
Here’s to make ourselves go through with things.
Good luck!
L. M. recently posted..C is for Catacombs
i hope you enjoy(ed) it! i was never a yoga fan, quite the opposite, in fact, but now i love it! so much that i will be doing teacher training in the fall
🙂
Well, friend, it may be uncomfortable and scary, but you’re doing it! So yay for you! And, bonus? You get to do it in yoga pants, which are probably the most comfortable clothes known to man. Luck!
Becky recently posted..I write because…
You got the right idea. In order to better help others, we need to be healthy enough to do that. I don’t own a yoga pants but they sure do look comfortable. I like stretchy pants. LOL.
Sela Toki recently posted..Zumba
You go girl! I totally get it. Last year I started Barre Fitness and had never taken an excercise class outside of PE and I was a nervous wreck! I figured I would be the most out of shape, most unable to do it and that people would look at me like ‘what is she even doing here’ HA! Insecure much? But it turned out to be great and fun and being surrounded by people is quiet the motivator to push farther than I would on my videos at home! Hope you have a blast!!!!
Katie recently posted..The miracle of dying your hair with coffee…
Thank you! I had a lot of fun 🙂
So how did it go? I love yoga, if only the place near me had babysitting.
Good for you for putting yourself on your “to do” list!
Jackie recently posted..Ridiculously Out of Control
It went pretty well!! The ladies there were all at least 60 and over, so I felt pretty spry 😉
Good luck with the yoga, and with focusing on taking care of yourself!
Meredith recently posted..The Green Monster
Thank you!! It’s an ongoing journey, for sure!
Hope it went well! And I think it’s great that you are putting yourself first. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. I have to remind myself that a lot.
another jennifer recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Bowdoin College Polar Bear
Thanks Jennifer! It’s true, us overachievers forget to take care of ourselves quite often. Hope you are doing something nice for YOU! 🙂
Good luck! I’m sure it will be great 🙂
Tricia recently posted..A toy problem
thanks Tricia! I survived 🙂
Good for you! Several years ago I took a yoga class for that same reason – ME. It was great. I learned that yoga is a lot harder than it looks! But I did really enjoy the class, then we moved, so I just have videos and fond (and sometimes painful) memories of that class. Have fun!
It is hard! But I like it so far 😉
Hope you enjoyed your class!
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: When It’s Always Your Child’s Fault
Thanks Shell 🙂
Namaste!
Facing the fear and going is so worth it! I love yoga class, and NEVER get the same serenity at home.
Adrienne recently posted..When I can’t say everything I want to.
Thanks! It was so weird to be focusing on myself for one whole hour! no phone! no e-mail! no work! Pretty cool, but gonna take some getting used to!
You go girl! I hope you enjoyed your Yoga class!
Taylor @ Goings on in Texas recently posted..I’m Guest Posting Today!!!
Thanks! I’m feeling it today, for sure!
You go girl! I am so proud of you, hot pink wow you will be the hottest one in the class. I took yoga once and was so chicken about a class i actually paid the instructor to give me personal private lessons so i didn’t have to do what your doing, just call me chicken jen! You’re awesome!
jen recently posted..embracing my inner Ernest today
Thanks! It went pretty well. And it helped that ALL the women there were 60+, so I felt super flexible 😉
Pretty please put this in my quotes guestbook! “Although selfish has a negative connotation, I believe we all need to be selfish to some level so that we can take care of ourselves, which in turn makes us better for everyone else, too.”
And lol to ALMOST buying new yoga pants.
Kenya G. Johnson recently posted..The Retired Marine smiles…
You have a great knack with your words, cant wait to read more!