My brain is cluttered this week. I have had thoughts about different blog posts swirling around in my head. Half-written, half-developed, half-good, half-crap. But when I sit to write, sentences are refusing to form in a way that flows, or makes any sort of sense.
I’ve been feeling anxious because we have so much going on. Our house is going on the market this week, and I am half-worried it won’t sell, and half-worried it will sell right away and we won’t have anywhere to live until the end of June when we can leave for NC. And for anyone who has tried to sell a house, it’s really stressful to live in a house that must be show-ready at a moment’s notice. Luckily we are selling it ourselves so we have control over showings. But still. Sometimes I want to leave my dishes on the sink. Or not put the fluff and peanut butter away directly after eating.
And then there is the second book I am working on with my former professor. There are notes to take, chapters to write. Half-developed ideas that I feel like I never have time to sit down and develop.
So my inspiration has been lacking. I want to write about crazy family dynamics, how I have two sister-in-laws named Katie and we aren’t talking to either one. I want to write about how ironic it is that people think I’m someone who has “it” “all together,” when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I want to write about how I’m going to be 30 in six months, and how I used to think that was SO OLD, and that I’m still not sure when I’m going to feel like I’m an adult. I want to write about my failed attempts to start Kid Quotes Friday, and how I don’t know whether I should continue with a link-up or just forget about it. I want to write about how sad I am that so many of the infertility blogs I’ve been reading have had late-term pregnancy losses and my heart is breaking for all of them. There are so many words that I want to share, but I can’t.
At least not this week, because my mind is cluttered.
Apparently my brain needs some spring cleaning. Pass the Windex.
Wishing a Happy Anniversary to Shell at Things I Can’t Say, who has now been hosting Pour Your Heart Out for two years! I may be relatively new to the whole blogging world, but I’m so appreciative of Shell and the other supportive folks in her community who have made their way over here.
"I want to write about how I'm going to be 30 in six months, and how I used to think that was SO OLD, and that I'm still not sure when I'm going to feel like I'm an adult."
This is something I've written about before – when does one feel like an adult. And heck, what does that even mean. I'd be curious to hear what you come up with…
I need some Windex too. I'm a mess this week. There is just too much going on without a thing being on my calendar. I have many half-crap posts written in my head too.
Hope you can find some time to clear it all away and get back to feeling and writing like you want to.
Selling a house can be very stressful, moving can be even more stresssful, uhhhhhh!
My advise, go do something fun with Casey- take a little break do something fun an preferably physical- in the sunshine if possible to shake the cobwebs off your brain.
Forget the windex…. I'm thinking beer or wine would be a perfect substitute!
You are living a 'half' life right now, so much flux and in-between! What a busy gal you are! I kept wondering why you were not blogging, when a close inspection of MY Google Reader showed that I was not following your blog. Um…I was, but then I wasn't…not sure how that happened. I'M BACK! I'll be 44 this year, it's the new 30 don'tchaknow. I totally get the lack of inspiration, the oodles of ideas swirling and refusing to come into focus. Hang in there – the universe will quiet down and allow you some time to breath soon. 🙂
Oh boy do I understand this one…Im worried about Kyle finding a job post military..housing…now getting stuck in GA for what is probably going to seem like the rest of my life…btw if I do end up having to stay here because Kyle gets this job..I am totally coming to visit you after you move.
Moving is always stressful! I don't think I could keep my house in show-ready condition with the boys here.
Selling your house is extremely stressful. Been there, done that. Keep writing, even if it doesn't make sense to you. I find it usually makes more sense to others. Plus, it's cheap therapy. 🙂
Limbo land is tough. I've been through the selling-the-house twice.
Would it help to know that a 47-year-old often doesn't feel like an adult?
Excellent post as always. Bust out the elbow grease and keep on writing!
As I've gotten older I'm realizing NO ONE has it together. We are all crazy in our own little way. It's what makes us all SO cool.
I can very much identify with cluttered brain syndrome; I'm a chronic sufferer. The other part of this post that really struck a chord was the thing about people thinking/saying you've got it all together when you feel completely not together. My boss at my old job once told me I was the most "together" person she knew. My response was that I felt bad for her. 😉
I hear you Jenn. I too suffer from a cluttering mind and life. Yet we seem to be pulling through alright. I so want to be perfect, but the harder I try, the farther I seem to stray away from accomplishing perfection in everything that I do. Keep your Kid Quotes Friday going. I read it and it's so funny. I will try to participate from now on.