Sometimes I wake up with it in my head.
Sometimes I fall asleep thinking about it.
Sometimes my stomach aches at the thought of it.
Sometimes my heart soars with the hope that surrounds it.
Sometimes tears form where there were none.
Sometimes a lump forms in my throat at the joy of other’s news.
Sometimes I am a shell within myself.
Sometimes I am an advocate for myself, and for you, who has been where I am.
Sometimes I curse the universe.
Sometimes I have faith in the universe.
Sometimes I make up games with my husband about it, to bring humor to a painful situation.
Sometimes I’m not thinking about it at all.
Sometimes I feel strong.
Sometimes I feel broken.
Sometimes I feel like I talk about it too much.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t acknowledge it enough.
Sometimes I gather strength from friends around me.
Sometimes I can’t stand to be around others.
Conflicted but clear.
Isolated, but connected.
Infertility.
A devastating word.
But not a defining one.
Not for me.
Except it is…sometimes.
My first linkup with Shell at Things I Can’t Say
Sometimes that's all it takes.
I love the flow of this post! I think one can start to define you. It shouldn't but, it does!
I'm so sorry you are going through this. xo
Such an honest post. Thank you for sharing this. Hugs.
These feelings are very, very familiar to me.
You express your struggle eloquently. You have my sympathy, and also my hope.
Powerful post. I think it's wonderful to be able to acknowledge the entirety of yourself – the strength AND the weakness. Nothing is cut and dried. Nothing is black and white.
I hope your journey has a happy ending.
You know I can empathize. With ALL of it. There are actually lots of "us". I hope writing this was a comfort to you!
I'm sorry!
Love this. Wish I could hug you through the computer.
Jenn you express so well what others do not have the courage to do. I read a blog a day or two ago – sorry don't know which one – but she began and ended with, "I am not my circumstances". So I love that you have chosen that the devastating word is a defining one. (((super hugs))) for just being you!
Wonderful post! So sorry you are going through this.
Beautiful post. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. But I so admire your strength.
""Sometimes I feel strong.
Sometimes I feel broken.""
I understand. x
BEAUTIFUL!
Dropping by from the Writer's Link Up
Such a beautiful way of expressing such a hard thing.