Happy Friday, everyone! I tried to start a Kid Quote blog, that didn’t really take off. Basically, I frequently post “Kid Quote of the Day” on my facebook (because the kids I work with? HILARIOUS!). I tried to start a blog to keep updated with the funnies. Turns out? I can barely pay attention to one blog, nevermind two. So I decided to start doing a feature of Kid Quotes on Friday (who doesn’t love to laugh on a Friday?!) At some point I may even try to do a link-up, because I know a lot of you are Moms who have adorable and funny kids. For now? No linky, just read!
I’m starting with some oldies but goodies! Enjoy!
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“I got fired from school. Yeah, I was sleeping on the job.” -5 year old
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6 year old (making smoothie): “I’m sure the natives will liked this, they like watermelon.”
Me: “The natives?”
6 year old: “You know, Canadians!”
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4 year old: “Jenn do you need a hairbrush?”
Me: “No thanks, why?”
4 year old: “Your hair looks messy!”
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5 year old: “I was late to the bus stop today.”
Me: “Oh yeah, what time did you make it there?”
5 year old: “I’m not sure, I had a watch, but I ate it.”
Me: “You ATE it?”
5 year old: “Well, yeah, it was candy!”
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7 year old: Did you know, I’m going to Disneyland for my birthday!
Me: WOW, how long are you going to be there?
7 year old: I’m not sure, first I have to tell my Mom that I’m going.
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Me: What do you think bullies become when they grow up?
6 year old: Teenagers!
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5 year old: Did you know that I learned to tie my shoes when I was 3? yup, I went to school for it. Shoe school!
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Kid: Well, I bumped my head yesterday, but I’m ok now.
Me: I hope you didn’t knock out any brain cells!
Kid: What are brain cells?
Me: They store everything in our brain so we can remember what we learn.
Kid: Oh, I don’t think I have any of those! (8y.o.)
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Kid: Jenn, is sex a bad word?
Me: Uh. No, no it’s not.
Kid: ok, well, what is sex?
Me: I think it’s something I would like you to ask your Mom and Dad about.
Kid: WHY does EVERYONE keep saying that? I mean, are they the experts on this sex shenanigan? (8 y.o.)
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Me (playing with play-doh dolphin): Hi, my name is Flipper! I like to do flips!
Kid: Jenn, I think you need to work on being more creative with your names. Your dolphin is now named HE-DOLPHIN, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE! (8 y.o.)
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Kid: “What’s this ball thing?” Me: “It’s a stress ball. You can squeeze it when you get upset or angry.” Kid: “Oh, you mean instead of squeezing somebody’s neck?” (5 y.o.)
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“I won’t be here next week, I have a date! With Winnie the Pooh….or maybe Yogi Bear!” -5y.o.
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“Shhh. Mommy, you can’t tell her that I wouldn’t go to bed last night!!! She’s on a need-to-know basis!!!” (5 y.o.)
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Kid: “we need to do the cheers thing! You know, when people are so happy their Mommies gave them a drink that they cheers their glasses together?!?!” (8 y.o.)
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Kid- “My birthday is almost on Valentine’s Day!”
Me- “Wow! You must have been the best Valentine’s Day present ever!”
Kid- “Yeah, but my Mom hurt like hell for two days to have me!” (7 y.o.)
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Why can’t grown-ups just understand that big brothers and little brothers fight like dogs and birds? It’s just how it is. Woof woof! (7 y.o.)
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Kid’s Mom: you can’t have a sleepover because it’s a school night.
Kid: Moooom it’s not a school night, I don’t have school until tomorrow!
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(while drawing where we feel feelings in our bodies): “Well, I feel a lot of things in my small intensine, and sometimes my large one. You know, that’s pretty much where I feel happy.” (7 y.o.)
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“Miss Jenn, can I tell you something? Every morning my shoes play tricks on me. They TRY and get me to put them on the wrong feet! Can you BELIEVE THAT?” (4 y.o.)
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“I’m not cutting my hair because right now I can make it stick straight up. No, seriously, my hair is a work of art!” (13 y.o.)
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That’s all for now, folks! Have a great weekend, everyone!
Be sure to stop by tomorrow and read about my husband, the Hoarder! It’s not just on TV, folks…it’s in my basement.
Love these! So funny. My favorite is the shoes playing tricks (though I also love he-dolphin master of the universe!). 🙂
I love this! I do something similar with my 6 yr old son. I've even used the Voice Memo app to record conversations in the car so I can blog them later. I call those snippets "Conversations with Charlie".
visiting from SITS!
Sex sheniangans? LOL!
Stress ball instead of squeezing someone's neck. Love it! Great way to end the week, I read this yesterday but am just getting a chance to comment on how much I enjoyed your post today (Sat).
Loved this! Especially the shoes playing tricks on me. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, everyone for the feedback! Hoping to make it a weekly deal, so everyone can end their week with super funny kid quotes!!! ~Jenn