Float On

Who does she think she is?

Coming into my home? Telling my Grandmother that I need limits and consequences? Trying to talk to me as if she could ever understand what I’ve been through.
She’s a f$%^ing girl, she doesn’t get anything.

She has no idea what I’ve seen. No idea what it feels like when your mother gives you away because she’d rather do drugs.

No idea what it’s like to be 14 and live with your grandmother who doesn’t understand anything.

*****

I see your pain. It’s in your eyes.

It’s trying to hide behind anger, but there is so much pain I can’t see anything else.

I can’t understand your experience. It’s yours alone to feel.

But I get pain. I know loss. And 14 wasn’t so long ago. That angst. Needing to belong – somewhere – anywhere. Feeling  different. Feeling alone.

Feeling like you want to escape. Everything.

*****

“Is that your phone ringing?”

“Yes, sorry. I thought I turned it off.”

“What song is it?”

“Float On, by Modest Mouse.”

“For real? That’s my favorite song.”

I meet your eyes Common ground. Finally. I can help you, my eyes say as I play the song on my phone and we both sing along.

I need help. But I don’t think I’m worth it.

I can believe in you enough for both of us until you can see yourself through  my eyes. For now, let’s just sing.

*****

“…And we’ll all float on alright
Already we’ll all float on
Alright, don’t worry, even if things end up a bit too heavy
We’ll all float on alright…”

*****

This post was written with the prompt of “Two Perspectives” for the Group Blogging Experience. Click on the link and come join the fun!!!