The other day, I took a kid that I work with to the playground.
I promptly challenged him to a swinging contest.
As my legs started pumping, and I gained speed and height, I begin to feel that feeling.
The one just as you are swinging high. The wind is blowing through your hair making your cheeks red and your eyes water. And you stop for a split second before you come back down. The drop in your stomach. The lump in your throat. The pulsing of your heartbeat, felt in your brain. The silmultaneous feeling of excitement and dread.
The feeling that you are about to plummet. The wondering if anyone will be there to catch you, if the chains on the swing will hold you. The excitement of the unknown. The free fall.
I remember days when I was younger. The leaps I took off of the swing from that very moment, at the highest point – pretending that I could fly. The forward rolls into space, perfecting the landing, trusting the ground to be there.
I am far too adult to try such a thing now. Fear has replaced much of that adventurous spirit. Some would say common sense, but I believe it’s mostly fear. Because of all those times when I fell perfecting the landing, both literally from swings and figuratively from other life experiences – they have left me cautious about much of the world around me.
But those times when I landed perfectly? The times when I closed my eyes and jumped, believing that I would be okay? The leaps of pure faith and imagination? They stand out in my mind, my heart, my soul. They are the most important times.
They were so worth facing the fear, letting go, and free falling in the unknown. I need to do more of that.
As for the swinging contest? I let him win.
Lovelove 🙂 Beautiful post!
I used to love doing that. I still do jump sometimes…but not from nearly as high. Always thinking about little eyes watching.
Jenn, I love it. You captured the very essence. Would love to share this on my blog if that's okay? Let me know!
Jenn you write so beautifully. Loved it!
I share the same fear. And I do think it's fear and not common sense. I can't decide at what point in life did those experiences become fears. Riding a bike…when I was younger, this was the mode for transportation; now, I don't enjoy riding by myself for all the dangers that may entail (someone driving by, not paying attention, and running over you). Climbing trees…loved to climb trees when I was young; now, I might be able to go up, but someone's going to have to get me back down. I can think of tons of other things that I have total fear of now. It's so sad. I wish I didn't! Enjoyed your post!
Ah That was lovely! Such a lovely metaphor! Beautiful!
@Herb of Grace – thank you:)
@Kathleen- yeah, it's hard to be a role model all the time, isn't it?!
@Molly Jo- don't know if you got my tweet, but thank you and yes you can share this 🙂
@Kenya – thanks!!
@Taylor – yeah, when I learned to snowboard a couple of years ago I was surprised at how afraid I was of falling. The little kids though? They flew by me. It's amazing how much we learn to fear as we get older!
@Social Lilac – thank you so much!
~Jenn
Oh wow. I could FEEL that feeling in the way you described it. Letting go–so hard…but you're right, so worth it.
Thank you for joining in!
I just relived swinging on the swings. It's an amazing feeling, and you're so right about the fear the creeps in when we get older. Our bones get more brittle, and we don't bounce back so easily.
Such a lovely post! I could so vividly remember the feeling of swinging and weightlessness, based on your post. Well done!
I still love swinging with my daughters…but I have to be careful that I don't get motion sick! Somewhere along the way I turned old…
Hi there, here on my return visit from ICLW 🙂 I really love this post…. it really brings back exactly the feelings you describe. I too used to love swinging, and jumping off the swing at it's highest point. Also love your conclusions!