When she was 5 years old, she often came home from kindergarten and stayed home alone, sometimes for the entire night. She slept under her bed when she was left alone, so no one could find her. Sometimes in the middle of the night, she would drag a chair from her room to her baby brother’s crib to pick him up when he cried even though she was afraid of the dark.
When he was 8 he tried to jump out of a window to get away from his mother’s abusive boyfriend. He broke his arm, and his mother refused to go to the hospital with him.
She lost an important piece of herself when she was 4. Her father took it from her one night when her mother was in the hospital recovering from surgery. She was wearing a pink nightgown, and couldn’t escape.
When he was 6, he got between his mother and father during a fight. A door that was meant to be slammed into his mother, was slammed into him. His wrist was broken. Loud noises make him cringe, he jumps at every movement, never trusting his environment to be safe.
One night, his father passed out in the shower, intoxicated. At 7 years old, he stayed up all night to make sure his father kept breathing.
She was born addicted to cocaine. Her mother left her on her grandmother’s doorstep when she was 3 days old. She is developmentally delayed and cannot emotionally attach to her grandmother. She is trapped in her own brain.
Their stories are heavy. Burdens that no human, but especially, no child should have to bear. But they do. They carry their stories with them every day. Often, you can see their stories in their behavior. They cry easily. They startle easily. They lie. They disrupt classrooms. They have nightmares. They refuse to talk to you. They deny their feelings. They overcompensate. They have flashbacks. They hoard food.
Because their stories are too heavy.
They end up in my office or the office of someone like me. They are desperate to give up some of their burden, to feel important, to feel heard. I do my best to be a safe person, to show them that a story carried together is always lighter.
Wow! So many sad stories. You must come across some pretty unique experiences. I admire you for the difference that you make in their lives and the listening ear that you are able to lend to them.
The burden these children face… there are no words.
My mom is a social worker… it's all too close. too real. too common.
How terribly crushing – I'm so glad you're there for them.
🙁 Just awful.
Tears are running down my face. I have experienced too many of these stories. How did we find one another again? You are doing me a world of good by letting me know I am not alone. Thank you for your post today.
I work for a place that mentors kids (I'm one of the few non-social workers there) and this is just so sad b/c I'm sure this is some of their stories. Brought major tears to my eyes.
@ Mrs. H- thank you!
@Sarah, I agree too often and too common. I feel like they are often forgotten too.
@Megan- thanks, their stories are hard to hear, but important as it happens so often.
@Sarah- I know 🙁 I'm glad that your baby will never experince that <3
@Rachel- big hugs. I already left you a comment, but know you are not alone, and I think you are awesomely brave.
@Girlwithcurl- I'm sure this is some of their stories. Mentoring is great, do you mentor?
Oh that brought tears to my eyes, especially the boy making sure his dad was still breathing. I can not imagine the parent like this or the child that endures it.
I can't imagine all the stories you must hear. It takes such a special person to be able to handle this and I certainly commend your work! Sadly I'm sure that these stories hit home with so many people. I think so much of this is a lot more common than the public likes to actually think.
Oh how difficult it must be to hear this stories, I admire you for being able to do this and being the person to help these poor little children.
@Kenya- I know 🙁 It's hard to imagine, but all too common.
@Laura- you are so right, it's so much more common than we think. Trying to keep awareness up!
@Jessica- thank you!
Thank you so much for the work that you do. I'm sure you are often one of the first safe adults some of these kids encounter. What a blessing it is to find someone who is on your side and wants to help.
I'm so glad you shared this with the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.