Birthdays are a reflective time for many, and I’m no different. As I write this on the eve of turning 29, I’m reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned this year. They have been many – wonderful, dizzying, terrifying, amazing and painful all rolled into one.
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
Henry Ellis
I’ve learned a lot about letting go this year. Letting go of people. Letting go of expectations. Letting go of hurt and vengeful thoughts. Letting go of dreams while grasping onto another. Letting go of what was, and what might not be to make room for what is. Letting go and coming back together.
I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
John Burroughs
As always, there is never enough time. To do everything I want to do. To see everyone I want to see. To have the conversations that hover in the air, waiting to be had. So we prioritize. I worked some on that this year – but this coming year, prioritizing is a PRIORITY. It’s time to slow down and make time for the things I want to do.
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
Robert Frost
There has been some very significant challenges this year. Emotionally, physically, mentally. Friendships brought to the brink. Stroke. Miscarriage. In each of these moments – I felt despair. As if the world should stop moving to give me a chance to catch up, to catch my breath, to get my footing. It didn’t. The world moved on, sometimes before I was even mentally present in my own life. As I stand on the other side of it all, I marvel at the fact that I am here. 1,000,000 tears later and a lot of lessons learned. Just when you think you know it all (they change all the rules). . . but life? It does go on. This is just one moment. And even if you’re stuck in a very hard moment, it will move on. You will find a light. And if you can’t? Ask to borrow someone else’s light until you can find your own.
“Nothing has turned out as we expected. It never does. Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful it’s no worse than that.” – Gone with the Wind
I remember I posted this quote a day or two after Casey had his stroke. There hasn’t been a lot of moments this year that I expected to happen. In fact, there’s been a zillion moments that I never could have saw coming. I suppose, those are the moments you learn the most from. I hope that I can take these lessons and use them wisely as I attack the coming year.
This year is going to bring a lot of changes. Change that will be exciting and scary all at the same time. Change that will force me to grow and stretch beyond what I think I can do. Opportunities that I don’t even know about as I write this. It’s exciting. Almost like a blank slate. Yes, there has been some painful lessons learned this year – but I know, as always, the world keeps on turning and people will be there when I reach out (even if it’s not who I expect to be there). I am blessed in a hundred million ways, and I want to focus on that this year. Appreciation. Thankfulness. Mindfulness.
Here I come, 29, let’s make this the best year yet!
Do or do not. There is no try.
–Yoda
