Birthdays are a reflective time for many, and I’m no different. As I write this on the eve of turning 29, I’m reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned this year. They have been many – wonderful, dizzying, terrifying, amazing and painful all rolled into one.

There has been some very significant challenges this year. Emotionally, physically, mentally. Friendships brought to the brink. Stroke. Miscarriage. In each of these moments – I felt despair. As if the world should stop moving to give me a chance to catch up, to catch my breath, to get my footing. It didn’t. The world moved on, sometimes before I was even mentally present in my own life. As I stand on the other side of it all, I marvel at the fact that I am here. 1,000,000 tears later and a lot of lessons learned. Just when you think you know it all (they change all the rules). . . but life? It does go on. This is just one moment. And even if you’re stuck in a very hard moment, it will move on. You will find a light. And if you can’t? Ask to borrow someone else’s light until you can find your own.

Over our vacation, I read a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It was a book about the author’s year-long adventure into finding out what would make her life happier/better/more fun. It resonated with me, particularly in the way that she talked about setting goals and then checking in on these goals on a daily basis. She “studied” several different arenas thought to bring happiness (organizing your life, finances, generosity, spirtuality, exercising, etc). I really recommend reading it. I’m going to attempt to TRY and bring some balance into my life, so I created some goals for myself – I plan on checking these off my to-do list on a daily and/or weekly basis. Here are my goals so far!

Daily Goals
-Exercise 20 minutes or more
-Walk the dogs 1 mile or more
-Eat less than 1,500 calories
-Sleep 7 hours or more
-Do not use “snappy” tone of voice with people
-Do not call self fat/ugly, etc.
-Spontaneously compliment a stranger
-Do dishes at night

Weekly Goals
-Date night at least once a week
-Work late only two nights a week
-Grocery shop with a menu
-Eat out only once per week
-Send cards/letters to 2 people a week
-Call friend/family 2 times a week
-Work on 2 house projects a week

What are your goals? And for goodness sake- why aren’t you reading The Happiness Project yet?

Several years ago, Stacey and I watched a movie.

A terrible movie, really.

One of Will Ferrell’s lesser known movies, Winter Passing.

(I don’t really recommend it).

But the movie? Well, it made me cry.

Because a year after watching the movie I was in the hospital with Stacey, and my Mom. Stacey was being wheeled off to surgery and her last words to me?

“Well, I’ve gotta go rock.”

The one and only amusing quote from that terrible movie- made me cry.

But rock, she did.

That day was September 13, 2007 and Stacey was being wheeled off to have her left kidney removed from her body – so that it could be placed in my Mother’s body.

It’s been over four years since that day, and I have yet to write about the experience. For no reason. For many reasons. What should have been only a wonderful experience was marred by incompetent doctors, bedside vigals, and a 25th birthday that was marked with my Mother in a coma and my father so stressed that he forgot all about it.

As my 29th birthday rolls around, the news that my Uncle Jeff has been diagnosed with kidney failure has found us. He has 30 percent kidney function right now – which means a transplant is a few years out for him (hopefully). And I’m helpless. Helpless because I have Stage 2 kidney failure myself. Helpless because we have so little family that literally no one in my immediate family can even be tested as a match. Helpless against a disease that has killed my Grandmother, nearly my Mother, and has affected myself, my great aunts, and now my uncle. For no good reason. No one has diabetes. Everyone is fairly healthy otherwise. And there’s nothing any of us can do, but watch. Watch the decline in him. Watch the decline in me. And hope – when the time comes, that a donor can be found in time. Living donors make all the difference.

Stacey’s kidney has brought my Mom into the range of normal kidney function! And because she was a living donor – the kidney has a longer lifespan – meaning hopefully my Mom will not need another kidney transplant (chronic kidney disease sufferers often have multiple transplants in their lifetime). And our story is unusual with its multiple complications after the procedure (my Mom doesn’t like to do anything the easy way!) Typically living donor surgeries result in a recipient that is up and functioning normally within 4-6 weeks. The donor typically has very few risks (outside of those of any surgery, of course). 4 years later, Stacey and my Mom are perfectly healthy! It is a true miracle. A miracle to witness, and to be a part of.

I encourage everyone to check out http://www.donatelife.net/ and read about the stories of donation. Update your organ donor card – and if you’re interested in learning more about kidney diease and how you can help – check out http://www.kidney.org/. Donate money, donate time, increase your knowledge.

I’m working on our donation story to submit to Donate Life. To continue the stories of hope and life. I’ll be sure to post it when I’m done.

Thanks for reading!

From 9/19/10 to today, I have learned…

…that no matter how much we struggle with money, we can always find a way to make it through together.

…that a healthy 32-year-old can have a stroke and Jenn, Stacey, and Sandy can really come together in a medical crisis.

…that we can get by just fine without cable (6 months last Monday!), and can always find ways to enjoy the time we spend together.

…just how adventurous we are with our lives, and hope that next year I’ll have learned how well we can sell a house.

…what a wonderful beach Ocean Park has and how much fun we can have there.

…the reality of just how bad miscarriages hurt.

…that I have a low sperm count and that we may never have kids.

…that Italy is a WONDERFUL country, as is Spain.  France….eh.

…that Newark Airport sucks, and that I can be the one with the cool head, once in awhile.

…that no how many years, months (42.5 since we met!), weeks, or days pass by, that I will love Jenn more each and every day, and never want to spend any less than an eternity with her!

“Instead of asking people what they do, ask them what they love to do.”

So, I’m asking you.


“What do you love to do?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*

Laugh until I cry.

Be understood.

Finish my husband’s sentence- because I can.

Singing. LOUDLY!

Help a kid express him/herself in a way that other people GET IT.

Work (I know, LAME).

Making cloud pictures.

Snuggling my puppies.

Crunching leaves.

Puddle jumping.

BIG, GIANT, HUGS!!!

Talking in Friends quotes.

Playing video games.

Reading. Reading. Reading.

Being in school (it’s a love-hate thing)

September 19, 2009.

Hiking.

Gym dates.

Writing out cards – for no reason.

Practing random acts of kindness!

Love. I love love love spreading love.

When we’re at our most challenged, our most frustrated, our most overwhelmed, knowing that someone believes in us is the most priceless thing imaginable.


Who believes in you today? Who believed in you in the past? 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I’ve had my moments.

Beautiful moments.

Grasping a diploma in my hand – not once, not twice, but three times. Receiving my license to practice in the mail. Running a half hour all at once. Completing a triathlon. Saying “I will” to my husband nearly two years ago.

Without many- these moments mean very little.

Without the person who I could call at any time on the phone and cry to when the world seemed overwhelming.

Without the person who paid for my books the first semester of college because I had no idea that a book could even cost over $100.

Without the person who took care of my dog for the beginning of his life so that I could attend classes, and work, and do an internship.

Without the person who I am most at peace with – whose arms are truly where I am meant to exist.

Without the person who I call when I have a flat tire, when I’m not sure I remember how to check my oil, when I’m scared and need someone to tell me it’s okay.

Without the person who pushed me- mentally and physically when I did not believe I could complete a triathlon.

Without the person who randomly sings musical show tunes with me through my tears.

Without the person who can finish my sentences, and understand me when I randomly say “Speaking of cool!”

Without the people who have made all these moments possible, and worthwhile.

I’m lucky to have all kinds of people who have, and do believe in me.

Part of what I hope to do in my work is pass on to these beautiful children that someone believes in them, because believe me – it makes all the difference.

I’ll admit it. We’ve been BAD. VERY BAD. BLOGGERS!

The many small dogs we walked



We visited Vermont and walked lots of dogs, and saw Carly, Kyle, Antoinette, and Jess!

Antoinette & Jess

Carly & Kyle and their new home!

Lido Deck on our Cruise Ship

Monacco

Monacco

The Ruins of Pompeii

Sicily

The Island of Stromboli

The 1992 Olympic Stadium in Barcelona

Barcelona

View from the Top of the Leaning Tower



The Colosseum



The Leaning Tower of Pisa

Woot woot!

Erica, the Bride

Allegra & Robin



Erica & Josh We did the Race for the Cure in Vermont

We celebrated 40 years of marriage with Casey’s Parents!

We vacationed in Islesboro with Mom & Stacey, and took in a little piece of heaven, did a lot of reading and a lot of relaxing!

 We repainted our kitchen cupboards (still a work in progress!

Mom and I introduced Casey to the wonder that is Groton!

 

Found this website that gives writing prompts, so we’ll try it out!

1.What were the circumstances surrounding your most embarrassing (physical) stumble?
    
           The one I remember most vividly was walking (and I mean WALKING) into a glass door when I was in Mexico with my Mom. I cracked my glasses and everything! Very embarassing (and painful!)

2.As summer winds down and autumn makes its approach, what are you most looking forward to in the changing of the seasons?

           There are lots of things I love about fall. Walking in the cool weather, leaves crunching under my feet, hot chocolate, chex mix, and so many more. This fall, I think I am looking forward to undertaking some steps for major change. Overhauling the house, moving things into storage, and getting ready to sell our house on our own. An adventure for sure!

3.What’s something you’ve recently fallen for?

            Onetruemedia.com   ~ I love making montages, and they make it SO DARN EASY!!!!

4.Of what has there been a shortfall in your life recently?

             Sleep? down time? Looking forward to getting some of that on our vacation in Isleboro in a few weeks! 

5.Has there been any kind of windfall in your life in the past few months?

             I wish. There has been a windfall of lessons I suppose – about who you can trust, who will be there when the chips fall, how to let go, how to move on, how to keep hope. Lots and lots of lessons. So many that I think I need a break from all the life lessons.