We’re not sure how this goes.

I could write to you as someone who used to work in a school.

I could write to you as someone who is a mental health professional, and has worked with kids for years. Yes, even violent ones.

But I think it’s more important to write to you as a human being.

As someone who, too, cannot make sense of the senseless.

Events like these shake us to the very core of our humanity. They expose the vulnerability, that in reality, we have every day – but do our very best to hide. Our inability to control the future, to fully protect the ones we love, to understand that any moment could be the last. To truly be present in every moment – is hard, to say the least – because how does one find meaning in every day moments like taking out the trash or brushing our teeth? We don’t. And we move through our lives, much of the day on autopilot, until we are shaken.

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then it’s one foot then the other as you step out onto the road
how much weight? how much weight?
then it’s how long? and how far?
and how many times before it’s too late?

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Reminded. That there are no guarantees in this world. That the next moment is never promised to us. That the world – owes us nothing.

I don’t believe that we will find meaning in this tragedy. The fact that 26 people lost their lives on Friday will make no more sense if we begin attacking each other on political and spiritual fronts. The fact that 20 children will not open Christmas presents in 8 days will not resolve itself if we analyze the shooter’s mental health diagnosis. It doesn’t make sense. And all we can do is sit with that uncomfortable feeling. That vulnerability. The very thing that makes us all human.

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calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don’t leave me alone
calling all angels
calling all angels
we’re cryin’ and we’re hurtin’
and we’re not sure why…

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The United States does not need to be further divided. The families of these children and teachers do not need to become the foundation of political platforms or religious debates. We need unity. We need to embrace each others as humans – no more safe or protected than any other human on this Earth. Not really.

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and every day you gaze upon the sunset
with such love and intensity
it’s almost…it’s almost as if
if you could only crack the code
then you’d finally understand what this all means…
but if you could…do you think you would
trade in all the pain and suffering?
ah, but then you’d miss
the beauty of the light upon this earth
and the sweetness of the leaving

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To the families, children, and to everyone reading this post I say Namaste -the light within me bows to the light within you. The light within us will drive out the darkness, if only we acknowledge it.

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calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don’t leave me alone
callin’ all angels
callin’ all angels
we’re tryin’
we’re hopin’
we’re hurtin’
we’re lovin’
we’re cryin’
we’re callin’
’cause we’re not sure how this goes

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*Lyrics “Calling All Angels” by Jane Siberry